signed, electric juliet

Oct. 10, 11

romeo, i understand
for on first glance, i was struck
and you were striking
and if asked to describe you then
i think even a feeble tongue
would be able to grasp what i saw
and on that second chance i was
carried a bit more away
from the words that slid out
refreshing, sweet, with a bite
that stung later, left a mark
and feeble tongues might fail
but yours did not
i could describe the way you smiled
feigning sheepish until you saw
that i was hooked on every tale
reeled in, hooks pierced and held
on the skin you'd already softened
with that first touch
and your words moved from sweet
to juicy and dripping from the lips
a feeble tongue would fail undoubtedly
with you there was no doubt
and soon it seized me like a shock
and i was fallen, grasped
february is a cold month for balconies
but the shiver was different
electric
pulsing
beyond those feeble tongues
beyond those burn out eels
i was electrified
and the strongest tongue cannot describe
what i see when i look at you now

kissed

03/30/11

she walks slowly
and every curve
peeking out
and peeking through
the folds of satin
folds of cotton
folds of silk
the towel
the dress
the nothing
everything on her at once
disappearing
in the way she walks
her thin lips
growing fuller
as her tongue traces them
her eyes big
tracing
staring
wondering
her body swaying
her hair rustling
her heart beating
so far away
reverberating
in another’s chest
faster
than hers
harder
than hers
cannot swallow
only gasps
for air
quiet
she stands in front
colour flushed
into her face
the power
the silence
the strength
if only she
would kiss
no
she wants to be kissed.

eve's envy

12/9/10

leafy green and softest trees
grow dark and loom high over me;
brightest colours to soft pastels
grow pale and dark and cold as hell.
the snake can hiss a quiet laugh,
it's reading out my epitaph.
the sweetest taste goes bitter sour,
i stand and shake and fear for our
safety, security, what we hold dear;
the thought of you grips me with fear.
you were His favourite from the start
i'm but a compliment to His art.
the knowledge seeps into my veins
i feel shaky, mighty strange.
i cover my body and hold my face,
i see now i can be replaced.
i'm made from you, your slender frame
shows ribs a plenty for more the same;
and i could prove a rough first draft
a practice run to hone His craft.
a grave mistake, a fatal flaw,
as if flattery possessed my jaw
and made it bite into the fruit
the juice, like blood, soon found its route
dripping slowly down my chin
softly staining naked skin.
the stain it leaves will scar my breast
and my racing heart will never rest.
adam, please, take cover and hide
let no more ribs come from your side.
what if He makes eve disappear?
what am i left with, why am i here?
adam, promise you love me most,
go against this Sacred Host.
find in me a new paradise,
i will try and sweeten every vice.
adam, love, if i leave tonight,
please come with me, take a bite.
adam, love, if he takes me away,
take a bite before you sway.
adam, love, you must believe,
take a bite to save your eve.
adam, love, i'm full of fright,
please, for our sake, take a bite.

pages

12/8/2010

i sit alone, surrounded my pages
pages of works i have to read
that i'll never read
ideas of book i should read
that i'll never read
desires to know more, be more
desires to speak more, laugh more
desires to dance more, smile more
desires to kiss more, more than kiss more
i sit alone surrounded my pages
a million works about a million things
a million critically acclaimed pages
on everything i should know
everything smart people should know
everything i should want to know
but the desires piled on the pages
yearn for the one subject not listed
you.

i wrote you a page
i wrote me a page
one to stand out among the millions
one to fulfill all the desires
you.
i sit alone, surrounded by pages
with you
and your page.

now what.

10/25/2010

i can't live on a schedule where you forget about me one week
i wait for it to get better the next week
i get frustrated and ask for more the week after
and then a good week.
and then three bad weeks.
and being forgotten.
i can't live on a two hours a week.
i can't live on broken promises and refusing to try.
it's one thing if you're tired of me and want to break up with me
it's another to make me tired of you.
it's another to make me resentful.
you can destroy yourself
though i'd never want you to
you can destroy us being together
though i'd never want you to.
but making me resentful
making me tempted by other people
making me consider breaking up with you
making me embarrassed at how weak i am that i could never do it
making me think about what it'd be like without you
and repeating this to me over and over again
until without you doesn't seem so terrible anymore.
until i want you to cheat on me
so that i can cheat back
and then maybe you'll feel sorry enough
that you'll want me back and never treat me like this again.
you can destroy everything you want
but why would you destroy this love i have for you
it hurts me so much that i almost wrote had.
i had the most profound, incredible, unforgettable love for you
you were all i thought about
you were all i did things for
you were all.
to have that be falling apart.
to have be thinking about it this much.
you make me hate myself.
like i'm a whore. like i'm despicable.
like this relationship meant nothing to me.
when we all know it meant everything.
you meant everything.
why can't you stop hurting me
and make this right again.
i don't want this to be unfixable.
i want your love
i want our love
i want my love
i want them to survive.
and i don't know if they will.
because i mean this little to you.

growing resentful

10/19/2010

gatsby's light blinked green to black,
yours blinks green to gray.
i can only reach out to you online
but when i talk, you seldom stay.

gatsby lost daisy to her pride
head too big for golden curls
she was not to be bound by love
but wrapped in strands of pearls.

you will be wrapped in boys' arms
and showered in borrowed beer.
see, money is not an object for you,
until you look to me, sincere.

sincerity is what daisy lacked,
she denied her feelings true.
if you keep denying me, do you
doubt what will happen to you?

jordan was a boyish girl,
daisy listened to her every word.
you and all your girly boys
make it hard for me to be heard.

gatsby gave dear daisy space
as he became the best he could.
i study, run and primp myself,
but it appears to do no good.

to keep that space and keep that love
is certainly no strong feat,
and who knows if i still turn you on?
at least my memory of you is sweet.

nick was naive and often lost,
but he tried to make things right.
he did what he could for gatsby,
but daisy extinguished his light.

i hold true to what i once knew,
and perhaps i'm just as naive,
but this sweet and perfect love i had
is all that i'll believe.

their story is lost in booze and jazz,
depression, lust and dread.
gatsby loved his daisy so
and gatsby ends up dead.

last night

09/24/2010
12:39 am

and it was so much better last night
with your body next to mine
and pain coursing through my legs
was silenced by your spine
pressing up against my chest
my arms wrapped lightly round
you were sweating through the night
but you were comfortable and sound
the pain was nothing at all
compared to the comfort of you
and the relative painlessness of today
brought nothing quite so overdue
as the feeling of you laying next to me
and it hasn't been a day
but just the thought of you laying here
it makes my whole body sway
and i know you like your rooms cold
but i'm freezing now, chattering teeth
this room is nothing without you here
with all your love, your safety, your heat