seven beautiful months.

09/21/2009

tell your roommate i'm sorry you're keeping him up

but i just can't stop talking to you

i've discovered something that i've never felt

every word you speak sounds brand new

you're stimulating in every way

i'd charge rent the way you live in my mind

everything certain before has now changed

i didn't know there was more left to find

you make me feel different, strong

and now i can see what i can do without

you make me feel different, dizzy

heart beating so fast that i might pass out

yes i'll take their advice, stay there tonight

drink wine till i say what i know

take me in the hall and kiss me hard

pick me up cuz i'm fallen and so

lost in this wonderland, i've become

yours, shut up you know i'm yours

and you stare me in the face, grab

on tight and kiss me with all your force.

this is the fantasy i never thought

was anything more than just that

but you say things to me, such heavy things

without even breaking eye contact.

you rouse me from bed with new words

and inspire better poetry than i've said

you're my muse, my choice, my sweetest love

you're the best story i've ever read.

the urgency, frailty, love unbounded

the way you shield me from all bad will

it's been ages and ages but my god, my dear,

hold me up cuz i'm falling still.

ghosttown.

09/18/2009

this campus is like a ghost town

the feeling of presence is all around

and i'm feeling very spiritual

a little extraterrestrial

as i glide along the stony paths

that lead me from the graves

you need not fly off all alone

in your hurry to get to your tombstone

i'm feeling sorry to be invisible

this is so inconsequential

the night will take us somewhere sure

the afterlife is boring after all.

dehydrated

09/13/2009

i feel like i'm marinating in the toxins

i ingested last night

i get it, we were foul and we fought

getting used to a constant presence.

funny how before all this you would say

we were always a constant presence

always going to be.

funny how your opinions changed of me

and there's always the point where the poetry

changes and i'm crying and the rhymes are angry

and i'm sitting up earlier than i should ever be

while you sleep away a day you had no part of

and i'm staring at the sugar i'll never eat

discomfort shooting through every part of me

but i'm not going to sleep.

i realize i have a drink and i get childish

we fight and i overthink and i overreact

i'm working on it, let me work at that.

don't yell at me when i kiss you goodnight

don't make me cry when i'm ending the fight

you know as soon as i get upset

i'll be apologizing soon

so why make it so much worse

why make me feel so much worse that it echoes

reverberates in me right until the next day

where you're barely speaking to me

and i can't help but think and think

you think i control this anxiety?

the last time i controlled something

everything went wrong

so lets do it your way, so hard and so fast

so you don't have to see my face.

god forbid you see this face.

play your sport and get all bruised

and i'll lay here and think up ways

that i can be cute and loving to you

while i think like this, what's on your mind?

not me.

i just wanted to still feel special to you.

you've been working on it, i can tell.

i feel like the worst burden you've ever known.

chrysanthemums

09/12/2009

my muscles are sore like they tend to be

i know you're tired from sleeping next to me

but when both arms wrap around my aches

sweet relief there finds and takes

hold of me like your hold on me

the latter lasts solid as concrete

your lips so soft, your words so sweet

engrave our names in thick concrete.

ward off sickness, drink the tea

wait for you to come to me

i worry my presence will exhaust you yet

there's too much of you i have to get.

the way the passion doesn't fade

not watered down, just what we've made

the flowers float to the top of my glass

i'm wasting time, i let it pass

philosophy is so new to me

and moves something i could never see

it feels so good to excel finally

so please don't loosen your grip on me.

chrysanthemums turn the water grey

voices echo and music plays

i begin new every time i awake

knowing that today can't possibly take

you from me, i know nothing so strong

nothing could've pulled us away, for so long

we've been intertwined, unable to sleep

but its okay, i don't need it, i can keep

remembering how your arms feel

and how your hands can slowly peel

all my worries and inhibitions away

so let's get tired and please, let's lay.

i'm sitting and drinking chrysanthemum tea

waiting for you to come to me

every sound holds hope that it's your feet

coming to lay me in concrete.