adequate

04/26/2009

you are spectacularly adequate
the best of mediocre
perhaps not gold or silver
but a participation ribbon.
you are purely deceiving
to fake at anything but
spectacularly adequate.
though, don't fret,
they will catch on anyways
it's hard to hide such a great
lukewarm presence.
at the best of times,
you are invisible.
at the worst,
your presence.
why become preoccupied
with attempts at achievements
you're destined for a life
of underwhelming.
although it may seem otherwise
i imagine you feel it coming
the emptiness before
they all stop to realize
that the most extra
ordinary
is not worth much time at all.
why exert yourself or your heart
on something so unappreciative
and so unimpressive.
summer is the easiest season
in which to disappear.
so make yourself less heard
less seen
less known
better.
you spectacularly adequate
girl.

the chemistry of stars

04/25/2009

outside where we are
it is darker than night
throw our heads to the sky
and the sky is clear
you're going to show me
what stars are made of.
if you lie on your back
and i lie on your arm
we'll lay and look upward
and i'll stay still
with you
in a fury of movement
that goes unnoticed
in the universe.
when we lay this close
and this intertwined
then nothing else
could possibly be disturbed.
the air and the light
stay perfectly still
as we remain frozen
without ever stopping
the world will turn
and the stars will fall
on the same sky every night
nothing changes
but our view on them.
like our love
and our mingled bodies
every single night
the universe remains unchanged
let the world move around us
as i'm fallen on your sky
for all of time, let's only let
how they see us change.
we are made of light
but we don't move so fast
why rush what will always last.
we are made of love
of love and of light
and you'll lie on your back
i'm on your arm tonight.
you're going to show me
what stars are made of.

between sheets

04/20/2009

i'm weak in the back of the knees
you kissed all my insecurities
you never pressed without a please
you held me, there was a whispered tease
i'm naked in every possible way
more satisifed than i'll ever say
the words probably don't exist anyway
between sheets, i'd stay here every day
so pour and press me in concrete
your lips move from my head to feet
eventually ours both will meet
pressed soft, we'll whisper something sweet
and i'm never going to lose my place
under your arm, on your chest i trace
the words i love you like stars in space
between the sheets, i'm happy to give up the chase
my ribs bruise and i really believe
it's because i was made for you, your eve
synchronized heartbeats deceive
only one heart remains, keep it on my sleeve.
let's leave the past behind, it will stay
let's whisper things while here we lay
a kiss and my inhibitions melt away
between sheets, this is the only way.

light as air

03/16/2009

and i will drift through
as light as air
behind your hand
going through your hair
while you stand
just stand and stare
right behind you
i'll be there.
there's less to worry
i'm always near
i'll keep you safe
i'll keep you dear
your closest wish
is my command
the things i'd do,
you can't understand.
i'll stay up till all hours
in case you really need me
i won't exist anywhere else
but where you need me to be.
i've never lived my life
for another person before
but with you, it feels like this
is something i'm going to do more
and i care for you more every second
i love you more every day
so don't feel anxious, i'm right behind you
i promise you this is where i'll stay.

i write things before 12 hour work days

04/14/2009

i feel like i understand what it's like to be a drug addict
at least the high parts
to feel something so undiluted, so pure, so genuine, to feel it so fully that you become aware of simple facts and appreciate them so much more, like the blood coursing through me and my heart beating.
to be totally at peace with doing nothing and going nowhere.
as long as that pure, perfect thing is there.
i hate drugs
but i love you
and this addiction isn't going to hurt me or others, although perhaps if my passion for you keeps getting so overwhelming, i'll need to seek medical attention. just sedate myself a little
my desire to travel has become less of an obsession and more of a pleasant afterthought
because no matter how far i go and what i find in this world, i have this overwhelming certainty of faith that it will not compare to what i have with you.
i want to do overwhelmingly romantic things for you
i want to not give you everything you need, but simply be it
i want to be there in every possible way, every single day, for as long as possible
this is not a 'for the next few weeks, let me know if you need me'
it's a 'i will be there for you as soon as you call. forever."
i've never felt so genuinely committed to something before.
life is so valuable and i always find it sad that people try to enjoy life the most when it is without commitment to anyone
i think commitment keeps you grounded so you don't miss any little beautiful thing to enjoy along the way
i feel very final. just completely satisfied with what i have.
there is nothing in this world i would not do for you.
there is no one who could compare.
this is the first and last.
i love you ben lass.

fog.

04/06/2009

i hate reminders that i'm mortal
but you make immortality
seem so overrated.
take time to see what i'm scared of,
take time to be the antidote.
you make immortality seem
so very overrated.
and i'm driving home like
i'm chasing fog
and i can't see more than an inch.
and when i shake, i'm scared,
but only because you're so far away.
and the taste of being overwhelmed
it's getting hard to rinse out
i could sure use a new sensation.
i've been blinded and deafened,
i'm ready to feel,
won't you replace the taste i have.
and you're making me shake,
you're making me afraid,
every second i don't hear from you.
my dear, the sky is falling,
the earth below me's breaking,
where can i stand if i'm not beside you.
why must i fear that i'll stand alone
why must i fear that you'll fall on me
and break from underneath me too.
i only shake when i drive away,
when the fog replaces you.
so for every shaking second,
every reminder of mortality,
there's so much i have yet to promise you.
but the next time i see you
i'm never letting go.
you make immortality seem so overrated.