scared

05/09/2009

i'm pretty tired of the bad dreams.
and of snapping at everyone because i'm tired and stressed.
and scared.
i'm scared of hating who i am
because i can't handle who you are
and i'm becoming such a mess
that i don't know why anyone is around me
and then i get scared that pretty soon
there won't be anyone around me.
i feel like i'm losing my support system
i feel like i'm losing a friend
if we haven't talked for a few days
i'm paranoid that everyone hates me
or will.
i'm scared that i'm driving him away
with being so stressed and worried
and paranoid and jealous
it's ironic
i'm so sure he'll leave me
that it might frustrate him to the point
of leaving me.
i don't want to be that girl.
i just want to live and have all the people i love
but i'm afraid that they won't want a thing to do with me
i would stay up so late talking to you
about music and boys and feelings
and i haven't talked to you for days
i'm scared you're angry
and that you'll be gone
i'm just so scared all the time
i want to let it all go.
i want to be happy.
i have every reason to be happy.
stop being insecure
stop trying to be better
enjoy who you are
enjoy what you have
be happy
look at these people
be happy
stop being scared
be happy.



your perfect curls
the way you touch my shoulders
you massage me when i'm sore
and let me sleep on you
when i'm tired.
don't leave.