the less fond.

12/15/2008

there are lyrics i don't recognize
scribbled on napkins that once were mine
dirty with food i once loved
beside a cd i'm now embarrassed of
a shirt that always fit too small
with a slogan so immature
a picture with a very old friend
it's been years since we spoke
a list of goals that had to be reached
and i've no desire to do most of them
they're all so far from who i am
i'm confused with who i was then
habits that would have killed me by now
hungering just to be accepted
okay with being used to my limit
by friends who would have killed me by now
a shattering lack of self esteem
scars and pants that fit too tight
using anyone's slimy touch
to compensate for what i didn't feel.
it's disgusting and i'm ashamed
it's a hard piece of history to move past
there's only one person i've told everything
and it's still so frightening to me
that someone can know all these things
and to be laying there so vulnerable
yet still love me and still let it all go
before i've even let it all go
so everytime he wraps his arms around me
and he's telling me stories, making me laugh
that's when i'm okay with all of myself
and most proud of what is here now