05/29/2008
(Re-edited 12/02/2008)
Your body is New York City
It belongs in flashing lights
The energy's high, it never stops
You carry me through the nights
Your Central Park centers my heart
It's your shockingly natural side
It gives me shade and a place to rest
You're everywhere I can hide
You have a greater history
Than the museums you withhold
No matter how modern you become
Your soul still remains old
The power of all the skyscrapers
Glitters in your eyes
They block out the more subtle flaws
And look forever up to the skies
And who cannot be taken with you?
They come flooding from sea to sea
You enchant them, let them walk over you
And forget all about me
But you draw me back like you always do
Lit up brighter than Times Square
I'll rush to meet you at any border
But you always leave me there
Yet a million people are within you
They control your every action
You become filthy, too much I can't clean
You can't give lasting satisfaction
Your body is New York City
But I guess I'm a small town girl
There's so much hurt sewn in your streets
And more beauty for me out in the world.
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1 comment:
My instinct is always to lash out at silly metaphors, but there's something so matter-of-fact about saying that a body is a large metropolitan city that kind of diffuses me. I will say that you're veering dangerously close to John Mayer territory, however.
There's something about the line "especially at night" that just seems inserted to follow the rhyme scheme. Remember that the scheme should serve you, not vice versa. And here, you got served! (I kinda had to.)
Plentiful should be red-flagged as a danger word. It stops me dead in my tracks.
"They conceal so many things" sounds a little rough, maybe?
I'd also consider
"Every new person who meets you
Falls in love immediately"
"There's so much hurt sewn in your streets" is really nice.
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